I caught myself on two occasions today, using ‘Dadisms’ around my wife and kids. Euphemisms that Mike Brady, Tim Taylor, Jay Prichett and (to some extent) Peter Griffin have running through their veins, and spewing out their mouths. Phrases and baseline attitudes passed from generation to generation… suck it up kid and rub some dirt on it… because when I was young… oh, ask your mother.
I wonder what would happen to our fathers, if we flipped the script and had ‘Dadisms’ like:
Spouse going to the mall: ”Before you go love, why don’t you take that fifty dollars cash in my wallet to spend.”
With remote: ”Honey, I know the football is on, but I TiVo’ed Grey’s for us to watch instead.”
About children: ”Kids actually have it quite hard today compared to when I grew up.”
In the car watching other cars drive: “Man, if only I could drive like that guy who cut me off.”
To best-man asking dad to participate: ”No.”
About beer: ”Sorry dude, given that up for this week. I’m cleansing.”
At the mall: ”Oh good gracious, I think I see Nordstrom Rack.”
Cellphone: ”I pretend to read work email to get out of cleaning duty.”
After opening package: ”Wait, I need to read this 30 page instruction guide.”
After receiving a gift: ”Hold this hun, I need to write a thank you note.”
Sat Morning about Sat night: ”Why don’t you call up Susan and go out? I will mind the kids.”
When unsure: ”I am going in to ask for directions.”
Right before bed: ”Maybe tonight we can just cuddle so you can get a good night sleep?”
When it’s broke: ”I might just call someone else to fix it.”
Disagreement: ”I am wrong and you make a great point.”
I always question if my conscious or unconscious actions are more competent than incompetent. As a man, husband or dad, my intention may be great, but my action in reality is actually more selfish than selfless. Questions to consider:
- What if I don’t have a pulse on a habit/reaction that I give my family? ie. Not knowing that opening a car door for my wife is polite (Unconsciously Incompetent).
- Could I be just downright lazy and really not care either way? ie. I could help vacuum, but I choose to watch football instead (Consciously Incompetent).
- What if giving requires me to turn in my man-card? Will the boys relegate me? ie. Saying no to best-mans invite to go to the pub (Consciously Competent).
- Who is the president of that ego man-club anyways? ie. What can I do today to help around the house before I watch the football? (Unconsciously Competent).
I don’t know if I will ever have the propensity to endure all of the ‘ism’s’ above… well, I am not sure it is in our male DNA. I am learning though, winning @home is a consciously competent choice to give before you get. Let your E-Go™ .
When a Dad is in, Everyone wins!